Friday, October 11, 2013

Can't we all just get along?

 Lately I have been reading & have seen many other blogs about how people think that stay-at-home-moms have so much time on their hands, or that it is just another day of nothing but fun & games. Articles about the top rated stresses that "business woman" have to deal with on a daily business.

Let me first off explain why I put the words business woman in quotes. Many people in our society - not all, just MANY- think that in order to be considered a business woman you need to have a big corporate job, own your own business, or at a minimal leave the house for your job. But those people are sadly mistaken! One of the hardest, toughest, very stressful, unrecognized & very honorary job is being a mom, stay-at-home mom or a "working professional mom."  Why does society feel the need to make one better than the other? I look at this way as along as you & your family are happy & healthy then that is what matters. Right? Don't let anyone tell you that you are less important than someone else, no matter who you are or what you choose to do for your career - ever.

We all have different reasons for the choices we make. Some are not able to stay at home with their children, maybe one income just isn't sufficient enough for their family, or maybe they are a single parent, or maybe they just want to be out in the professional working world. Those of us that are lucky enough to be able stay home with our kids take extreme pride in what we are able to do & also understand the great responsibility that goes along with our "job." It is not always fun & games, it is not always just long walks in the parks, eating ice cream all day, while laying around taking naps- I assure you it is not! There is so much more that goes into it but also so much more that you and your children will take away from it [your time together].

I am not saying one side of the grass is greener than the other. I am actually both a stay-at-home mom & a business woman. so I understand the importance of both & also know the stress of both.  Let's review some of the pro's & so called son's of both.

Stay-at-home parent Pro's:
1. We get to spend each minute with our children
2. We get to be the most important & influential person in our children's' lives - we get to be their teacher,  their mentor, their coach, their friend, their doctor, and so much more.
3. We get to save money by not sending them to a child care provider of some sort
4. We know how they are being raised, what they are being taught each day, making sure they are eating healthy
5. We get to be home to hear all about their day as they walk through the door from school still excited about the day & ready to share it with you. Possibly help out at the kids' school - reading books to certain grades, going on field trips, helping with parties

1. We spend every minute with our children. Not everything is roses all the time.
2. We work literally 24/7 365 days a year without ANY breaks. We don't get our 10 minute breaks & a half hour or hour lunch. We are lucky to get a bathroom break to ourselves.
3. There are no Holidays, no sick pay, no vacation time, no personal leave, no maternity leave.
4. There is no paycheck
5. There is no "me (parent)" time

Professional Working Parent Con's:
1. They get paid
2. They get scheduled breaks
3. They get Holidays, sick pay, vacation time, persona leave, maternity leave
4. They get paying benefits (at most jobs)

1. They don't get to spend each minute with their child
2. 9 times out of 10 you may not be the adult that gets to spend the most amount of time with your child, which means you may not be the most influential person in their life & you can not monitor all that they are subjected to. Between Child care providers & school you only actually see them awake for a few hours a day.
3. You do not get to be there when they get home from school to share those special moments with you as they are still so excited about their day
4. You more than likely pay for Child care

Again I am not saying one is better than the other by any means. In fact I just want us all to get along. I mean I regularly hear women talking about other women who have made" the wrong choice" in their eyes, & many men that say to stay-at-home moms (even their stay-at-home wives) "Well what do you do all day? ....Wow that [staying home doing nothing] must be nice, Well I work all day, I'm so tired." And I think really?

I encourage each of you to think about it. How is your career any better than the next person's? We all have made decisions based on different circumstances in our lives & who is anyone else to say that the way we have chosen to live is not what is best for us?

Can't we all just get along??

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